dry run

there is nothing more thoughtless than my writing
it goes on and on, words without feelings
i dont even know what comes before you and i
is this because i have so many thoughts in my mind?
or i just dont have what it takes
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just because i felt i should be writing i tried to write.
but it seems there is nothing coming out of my thoughts right now
people's works still amazes me. I wonder how or what made them write such beautiful verses
if only i can be like them. if only. but i am not. im a lot less exciting. im boring.
argh

i just hate the thought. that i could be right all the time
that this life is passing. and that although people will cry at my funeral
soon they would forget about me
i hate to be forgotten, dont we all?
so we try to be something. but it's different for me
i am nothing. i am not good at anything
my only consolation is that i have tried this and that
but never really a good one

why? i dont know. God knows