write because you must

i am not in the best of moods lately. maybe i havent ever been. but that's ok. Im looking for some indie folk music to listen to but to no avail. that's because we are not allowed to stream music/video. that's b+o+r+i+n+g.

but im listening to Snow Patrol right now. at least. and i did find Postal Service's surreal version of Against All Odds. Not that its an OST from the movie Wicker Park. which for the moment is the only movie i can think of. haha. now im beginning to laugh this is weird.

I dont know. This may be due to my car beeing scratched as i park earlier this morning. argh. My heart is in pain as well. It bleeds with the car. haha not really. i dont knw, this could be due to lack of sleep. i used to sleep around 2-3pm in the afternoon and wake up just in time for dinner or to check if my folks (the redhorse classmates) are up for another session.

There has been so much discussion about people's problems lately. I guess this is the general feeling of the group. With that i told my friend that we should try to be happy instead of giving in to life's "troubles".

For me. there is no bigger problem a man can ever have than that of love. Work problems, Money problems, has a definite solution. to some extent though. but in my opinion, there is nothing like the troubles caused by matters of the heart. Is this because i think with my heart and not of my mind? I tried to do that "handshake-check" using both hands, but it still comes out the same. I use my heart more than my mind. or at least in my decision making.

So which one do u use? The heart that gives you the emotion, the passion, the drive to do things. Or you use your mind/brain, the logical more sensible one?

Id rather use my heart. Its crazy and its brave but if you dont live a life that is a little bit off on what is normal then you never really lived at all. One of the greatest highs i got in my life is when i took a leap off of the "right track". And bent the rules.

It was stupid. It was heartbreaking. It was fun and was rewarding. And I will always go back to that moment and feel proud of myself that at least.. i was able to do something no less than what they only hope for in the movies.

I lost the whole point of writing this blog, maybe because i am listening to the beatles.. hehe im currently listening to Yes it is by the Beatles. "for red is the color that will make me blue, inspite of you, its true"

hmmm. and why does my keyboard react very slowly to my typing this is so freaking annoying.
*sigh*. i just wanna go to bed right now and sleep. and see what my dreams can offer me.

i hope i could get out of this slump that i am in right now. i am not only blaming this on my heart but also partly on my health. i have not been taking care of my self lately. sleeping late, eating unhealthy food, no exercise, and i stopped taking my medicine... i just pray that things couldnt get any worse than this. but i feel very.. if not , extremely, weak right now. that id pay anyone who can give me one hour of sleep in a bottle so i can drink it.

there goes my brain.

me gonna sleep for a while

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ciao!