listening to When Did You fall by Chris Rice

a lot of trivial things happened to me in the last 24 hrs. so much suspense that Jack Bauer felt insecure. heheh ok.

so point #1, yesterday afternoon we got an e-mail (we the team) from our Manager that I will be moved to another location. argh.. my route would now be 2x, and as Albert pointed it out prolly more than 2x my travel time now. hmm..

i felt numbed. lolz i felt lazy.. again. i had a chat with my friend who is now in Dubai. He told me he is gonna look for a job for me there. There goes my future again, so many loose ends. but i will save all my rants on the later part.

evening came. Karen went to the gym to play table tennis. Dencio and I followed less than a minute later. I wasnt able to play because i didnt bring proper gym attire. argh. =(

so i went down.. i wanted to hang around outside the coffeeshop.. but it wasnt so good, it had just rained.. i walked back inside the receiving area., and read the news. people were coming in and out of the area . day shift people logged out EGRESS granted.. night shift people started to flock the area. ACCESS granted. fuck the area. =P

just as i was to go back up., i bumped into densio, telling me karen is no longer in the gym. I said i will just catch up with them. i will eat my dinner in the 7th floor pantry. That i guess is the first time ever that i ate my dinner at the pantry in my floor.

As i have said in the prior blog, an ex-officemate treated us to lunch.

I had my lunchbox (food) for dinner. I was eating so fast that i choked. it was the worst experience. lol. i thought i was gonna die. the place was quiet. and it was dark. i struggled to run to my desk to get my mug. (i just realized while writing this piece that there were other tumblers i can use without wasting a second or without moving an inch. but fuck that man).
So i got my mug and I ran back to the pantry to get water... wait.. i didnt i prayed to God there was water in my mug when i grabbed it and at that instant i dranked it.. putting my whole trust (life maybe) to God.

and true enough.. there was water. enough to clear my diaphragm.

after that incident. i smiled to myself. what couldve happened if right then and there i was too lazy or hesitated for a minute to move.. .. that could have been the end of me. and this blog. =P

so i went down to meet Densio and Karen. smoked a stick, and went into "panic" mode. it's late., me and karen didnt have our cars, it is raining.. and we needed alcohol.. FAST.

hahahah and then Ooming came. Oming is our newest classmate. He dropped out of Sober'sHigh. so he enrolled to our school. hopefully the entire sem.. , and maybe as long as we all get our PHDs.

after some conversation (non of em in the same level as we usually do when we are not so sober.. lesser sense of urgency., lesser emotions. lol).. it was more attuned with the cold piss from Zeus.

i decided to go home. raincheck. and i was greeted by a dead rat in the pathway. =P "so long you rascal" ehehe literally. i saw a dead rat. and i got into the L I T O C book again. How the city was so dirty and Dr Juvenal Urbino's dad blah blah blah.. helped blah blah.. im not for him. im for Florentino Ariza. =P read the book and you will understand.

When i went home. i got undressed. And i slept. time check 20mins before 10pm. oh yeah i read some pages of the book. but the idea that night was to sleep. Sleep so that when i wake up, all teh hassles of the day and the days to come will be gone. Well i half-believed it would be true. ='(

i woke up around 3am. drank water. and slept.... but before that...

I had a very strange experience. I said to myself this year i will be 25, i need to work somewhere where i can be "extremely" wealthy in my last year., that is when i will be 27. hehehe that was a funny thought. but not so funny when i had a vision.

that i didn t die. because i begged not to. and i was somewhere in my 90s and that day.. I WAS certain that i would die. and some thoughts were very clear... that i felt pain in my heart. i dont know why. but i somehow i felt that time when you are certain that you will die and you did... and "you're dead" blah blah. ok so i jumped into the future when i said to myself "oh no, this is it" and i died..

i felt the emptiness. but i what lingered was the second in between. the pains of the things i shouldve done.. and those i should not have done.

morning came. i woke up at 7. watched tv. i didnt eat breakfast. our helper went to the province..

everything was normal. i am usually my cool not so sad not so happy self. but now more than ever.. i needed someone to be with me. my life seems so lonely. argh. yeah it is. i am actually more troubled than i look. lol i understand some people have "trouble" with the way i look. but that is in another grammar.

but i believe things will go well.. for me and everyone else. and for you... who i will spend my whole life with.. soon.

ahhahahhaha you guys check out When Did You Fall by Chris Rice.. it is a nice pick. thanks Jill for pointing my way to the song. =)