you write something... and then what...?

i dont know what's going on. i feel so tired. had a great time drinking with my friends last monday night (karen said she became a monster. lol) .. and now im sober.. (for 4days). aargh i hate this. i like to write about my experience in malapascua but cant. i want to write new material/songs for our comeback but cant. i want to write a goddamn poetry but cant. is this due to the lack of alcohol?

god i hate this. i want to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MInd. =) but my sis just mentioned the movies Pulp Fiction and my favorite "Natural Born Killers"

im done with my usual rounds.., friendster, myspace, gmail. i have a headache, and i hate myself for feeling hungry. hehehe.

and a thought came across.. what or who couldve inspired that guy who wrote "YOu're Beautiful" ?? i totally adore the song, and his voice. That.. after seeing his next song which is "Goodbye My Lover" WHOA! and i love the video too.

so much for my dream of becoming Moby, 3 months has passed and i havent been able to write some lyrics.. , the only thing i got is 2 trial versions for a downtempo song lol. im glad my friends gave me positive responses on my "songs" . i made them from fruity loops. they are supposed to be moody and instrumental.. i dont know. =P

if i had my way., id be out in a tiangge looking for boardshorts..

and yeah some ppl kid me around for starting the summer early. hehehe


grrr. i hate myself. i used to be able to write poetry that can make people cry...
now i want them to cry !!! hahaha maybe because i am happy with my life right now. i got no more mirror for my fictitious feelings. lol. and yeah, no one likes to rock on with a happy tune right? oh well maybe Weezer can get away with "...i got my hash pipe" now that is plain happy. =)

so what songs can i write? maybe it should start with

"God fucking hates me
he doesnt give me alcohol
he doesnt give me anything, cept for Tylenol"


argh. now my spine is hurting. im putting on my headphones yet my music has stopped like an hour ago already... i was listening to an mp3 which i have always thought was by TOOL, but now i am doubtful. sue me for piracy. lol

maybe im too old. im 24. im too old. i have no job, i have no money, and i wish to sleep now. and then id die, and god i hope at least one of my poems gets famous. lol.

now i remember the canvas i bought, and my set of oil brushes... fish in a can, i wasnt able to use them.

maybe i should start my day better tomorrow. life is beautiful. beautiful faces continually amaze me, and so does all the people who can write well, especially poetry.. love. tragedy... longing.

if you think you are beautiful. and if you think you can write well. cheers! im your fan.