reminiscing

reminiscing mid to late 90s. im seeing the words "desperately wanting" floating in my head.. while i am singing "all i want" by toad the wet sprocket.


..nothin so loud as hearing when we lie
nothin so cold, when closing hearts
when all we need is to free the soul
but we wouldnt be that brave i know....


i feel sleepy. =) just had a quick hi and hello with a friend in vietnam over msn.

gotta work now.

not for today

i opened up launchcast.. Cool As Folk genre..

and for today elliot smith didnt start, it's Iron and Wine with Love And Some Verses.

=)

dog is dead

i believe that the god that is created and is revered to by millions does not exist.
if this ever loving father existed., why is there suffering? how come when something good happens to us, its a blessing from him, and when there is suffering and hatred, it is our free will? isnt it a rather shaky principle.

i believe there is a god. but not the one i was told when i was born.

you have a perfect day, then you hear Jem's Flying High and then Jeff Buckley's last goodbye played on launchcast, and you feel totally sad... you love being sad... but then again too much sadness kills you.

clementine

in the ofc, listening to Elliot Smith's Clementine.,. almost everytime i open launchcast in the morning listening to Cool As Folk genre, Elliot Smith plays. =)

not that i whine. i love elliot smith's songs.

i felt so active today. cleaned the car dashboard with Armor all.., armor all over again and again. put on tire black, on the tires..., cleaned the interior, opened a new car freshener..

then mom said, we are not goin to use my car, grrrrrr.

had ice tea for breakfast., hehe doing that stupid water therapy again. =)
i put my bloggin on hold for a while, so i could go down and get some files from my friend.

turin brakes is playing now.

30 mins

30 mins from the Last Song Syndrome.. , and still singing A Thousand Years..,

*depressing*

a thousand years

i dont know why, but i was singing this song in the car, on the way to the office.

it is one of sting's greatest.. special mention to "when we dance"

this one is called a thousand years.


A thousand years, a thousand more,
A thousand times a million doors to eternity
I may have lived a thousand lives, a thousand times
An endless turning stairway climbs
To a tower of souls
If it takes another thousand years, a thousand wars,
The towers rise to numberless floors in space
I could shed another million tears, a million breaths,
A million names but only one truth to face

A million roads, a million fears
A million suns, ten million years of uncertainty
I could speak a million lies, a million songs,
A million rights, a million wrongs in this balance of time
But if there was a single truth, a single light
A single thought, a singular touch of grace
Then following this single point , this single flame,
The single haunted memory of your face

I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head

I may be numberless, I may be innocent
I may know many things, I may be ignorant
Or I could ride with kings and conquer many lands
Or win this world at cards and let it slip my hands
I could be cannon food, destroyed a thousand times
Reborn as fortune's child to judge another's crimes
Or wear this pilgrim's cloak, or be a common thief
I've kept this single faith, I have but one belief

I still love you
I still want you
A thousand times the mysteries unfold themselves
Like galaxies in my head
On and on the mysteries unwind themselves
Eternities still unsaid
'Til you love me

the band

last saturday our band Mood, played at the SM parking lot for the MTV Hits Cebu concert. we were one of the six finalist for the contest. it was great., it was cool playing infront of thousands of people. we didnt make it to the top 3 though.. but playing there was good enough. i saw the rapejoys =) i was wearing a rapejoy77 shirt which we printed the night before the concert .. ehhehe =) we were asked to do another gig by zarah.. the band is still going to evaluate it though.. hmmmm

snorkelling

whew. just came from a weekend of snorkelling and sun fun. =)

we went to Nalusuan Island, which is a marine sanctuary... while snorkelling i came eye to eye with some fishes.,, whoa, they seem to stare at you as if to tell you you're a trespasser.. =)

we saw a baraccuda too..

it was really fun. the place was great.., well to measure, i sleep, then if i can enjoy my sleep,... it means that the place is awesome.

my shoulders hurt.

aw.

*my band is going to play next week. MTV hits CEbu! =)

i am hearing this....

it is almost 9am,.. im in the ofc.

putting all my mp3s and wmas in the media library.

norwegian wood by the beatles has just played.. now im listening to Tool.

what is the difference?

what is the difference between happy and contented?

mood swing

feeling so useless again.
feeling so alone....
this is not the first time i felt like this.

oh well.

one eye is for the make believe world we are in.. the other.., for reality 

some old poems i made

nowhere

i heard shes getting married.and i am going nowhere
i thought i wrote you a letterhoping things could get better
love is no accident baby
it was you and me
love is such disaster baby
never was you and me

but it is ok
i am alright

here is now or never baby
things you couldnt see
make it easy for me baby
walk away quietly.



90mph

is it always like this?
i just remembered it was 3 years ago
when i put your photograph to cover the moon
so i will see your face every night
i worshipped you

what has it brought me so far?
1000 sunsets and 10,000 teardrops fell
you see, it was hard for me
i have loved you

you said i always had a choice
you said i had all the time in the world

my dear, what u didnt understand was,
in my world, ants walk ninety miles an hour



orange juice

butterflies in the air, and all the tiny details of a fine day,
she can see through the window.

she can see them, but cannot play with them
cannot touch them cannot feel them.
will she ever hear a bird sing?
or the sound of of piled brown leaves stomped by the children outside
outside her window, of a room,
more like prison

she writes her thoughts some more
scribbles them on paper and throws them outside,
sometimes without care, sometimes for distress

ms. moon, you have to free your thoughts
you needed someone to share them withyou have to go outside, but you can't
you have to drink some more of that orange juice

yes ms. moon.

your mom prepares you the sweetest juice she can
this gives you the energy for a vibrant day
in that room, in that prison
she tells you she loves you,
you shouldnt break a sweat, more so shed a tear
your mind screams "there is no one here"
you have to finish that glass.
and here comes one more.

other

i traveled 4 hours to nowhere
a southern exit to life
drank heavily like a husband without a wife
i walked around the alleyway
were people stared at me
and not a care (unfinished)


end of the day

at the end of the day it all goes down on me
so i better make a decision, and make it quick
it might be too late

i hope this day ends sooner
well if im gonna die anyway why not now?
i find this day too long

life is a miserable way to wait to be gone
life is a movie with no rest in between takes



Everything Turns

Just as the sunrise turns to sunset
And as the waves come into the shore and back to the great oceans
everything is revolvingconstantly...

Today will be just another day
and tomorrow will be today

come what may
Everything will pass. Everything ends.
I am tired of this certain probability


Sunset Homicide
strange colors frighten her
she said it wont be over til midnighttill the cold chills will go away
and the evil spirits leave her

strange sounds confuse her
i told her its gonna be over by midnight
and the cold thrills are gonna stay

let them spirits stay here
aah its another sunset
its another wave rolling
just like last summer
when she went down for killing

she's got a strange sickness
she wants you in on the secret
she wants you to keep it
she wants you to die with it

no.. she only wants you to die


maria

maria you showed them what to do
told them what it was all about
there are some things you just cant figure out
you spend most of your life on things that make you happy
take the pills that keep you sad
you are a persona of madness
you have this thing for sadness

but i love you, whatever takes
im not stepping on the breaks
there's just no more reason to end, maria

maria tell me what to do
to get out of this cloud
their songs in my head are just too loud. too loud now

in my mind i speak your name, but no one has to know
in my heart i keep a picture frame , of the maria that i know
in my eyes will be sadness if my lips are cold, they are for you only. maria.


one and one thousand

one night and a thousand moments
i stare into your eyes a thousand stars will shine.
like a falling star that's fading...morning comes too soon.

one ocean and a thousand waves
i swim across the the island to where you stand
a hungry heart a broken soul
beauty hides from inside

one face and a thousand emotions
as we exchanged stories and you smiled
you are beautifulyou are grand.
one moment a thousand sorrows
cannot fill the emptiness as i stare at your prints

you are leaving me...