rage against the taxis

i woke up at 7 in the morning today. i wanted to be early in the ofc. but i was sooo tired due to the fact that i woke up 3x prior to deciding its really time to move out of bed.

anyway. so i head out to the car park. and started washing my car. there were some taxis parked also. those were owned by our neighbor, i think they are about 5 of them. so the carwash boys started cleaning the taxis, and i can see the drivers sitting at the side.

i dont know, there is something about them that i really hate. they seem very arrogant and they dont even help in the cleaning. well i remember one time, while i was cleaning my car, one of the drivers approached me and offered me some of his old rags. i was like.. WTF i can buy you a thousand of those. lol. but i didnt react. i just told him "thanks", and told him to just leave it there.

whoa! that same driver was there. And then i saw him approaching his "designated" taxi. and when he was near his the driver's door, he made a comment on the girl that passed by... in my mind i was like bullshit. you shouldnt do that. (the gentleman in me protested) lol..
but one of the drivers out in the far corner stared at me. so i stared back at him.

these fucking drivers are starting to get into my nerves.

anyway. i didnt give a damn about him. i know these people. they are not worth the sweat... lol
fast forward. i was driving in the South Reclamation Project (a very long highway...)

and then there is this very fast nissan taxi that swerved and .... eventually got caught at the end of the highway for not putting those lights at the top of taxis (i dont know what they are called).
lol.. the taxi met his maker. ahhahahha

anyway. then there is this curve where i have to make a u-turn, and then there is this taxi at my left side half of the car's body is ahead of me, so i didnt mind that he went ahead, but there is this other taxi who tried to cut me off following that first taxi. again my road rage buttons where pushed. lol. i blocked him. he almost hit the incoming traffic. lol.. so he swerved to my right. but he was put on a halt, because a jeepney stopped. and then again he tried to overtake at my left but i blocked him again i tailgated the taxi infront leaving him no choice but to hit on his brakes and follow me. i almost hit the taxi infront of me. hahahah because i sped up although it was a busy street. and he almost hit me as well. then with the help of another jeepney crossing at the intersection, the evil taxi successfully (spellcheck) went passed me via the right lane.

it all happened so fast.. but it was FUN. =P

hehehe there i smiled. i figured i block better than Ferrari's #2 driver. hahahah

"and think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course..."

the cure for the sickness

lolz. i just have to make a poetic title of my weakening health right now. =)

i felt "un-ok" a few hours ago (and the past days). but im cool now. i got really dehydrated yesterday after a session with the band... and after classes. lolz.

=)

now im good after downing a couple downers.. hahaha.. no no.. i just drank water.

=P

you guys better watch Walk The Line... Greeeeat movie.

My Drug Buddy

currently listening to this very nice song from the Lemonheads. =) this song means a lot to me.. i dont know why. =P

Shes coming over,
Well go out walking,
Make a call on the way.

Shes in the phone booth now,
Im looking in.
There comes a smile on her face.

Theres still some of the same stuff we got yesterday.
Theres still some of the same stuff we got yesterday,
Yeah.

Im too much with myself,
I wanna be someone else.
Im too much with myself,
I wanna be someone else.
Im too much with myself,
I wanna be someone else.

So we take off out Fionas door,
Walk until its light outside,
Like before when we were on the phone.

We have to laugh to look at each other.
We have to laugh cause were not alone.

As the cars fly up king st.
Its enough to startle us,
Its enough to startle us

I love my drug buddy.
My drug, my drug buddy.
I love my drug buddy.
My drug, my drug buddy.

such a pretty song.. exactly what i am feelin now.

oh man look what the cat drug inits got the dress oh the colors on that i gave my one true love onoh man look what the wind blew homenever had this much stimulationtil her low down elavationbut oh don't look in those eyesbluer than bluerules on the riseand if i wear apathy's crowndon't call me highit's a long a way downoh what terrible things she showsi'm overwhelmed by rumors this highand overcome by lowsoh what use is it to pretendthat i have the strength for this anymorethis is all in the world that she lives forbut oh don't look in those eyesbluer than bluerules on the riseand if wear apathy's crowndon't call me highit's a long way downi would suppose that i'm not the only oneone never knows and i've got a feeling she's been sleepin with the whole wide world (3x)oh don't look in those eyes bluer than bluerules on the riseand if i wear apathy's crowndon't call me high it's a long way downit's a long way down.

the flood

the ceiling in our floor is dripping with water.

f*ck i want it to flood... and just drain me..

and then id die.

='(

tsk tsk

just another day of feeling useless (somehow i think this isnt correct) lolz.

i wana go to the beach and kill time snorkelling. i dont want to spend time living anymore.
looking at your picture doesnt help at all. not knowing what to do comes 2nd place.. to knowing that i am worth nothing..

oh f***

years ago i thought that people doing drugs and alcohol or wasting their life because of painful things.. or that they feel rejected and not liked is a cliche'... fast forward.. that is my life.

they say i am being a coward. but i cannot help it now. i shouldnt have done what i did (getting into vices) but what can i do.. nobody was there when i needed them..

sigh. there are so many things i want in this life. but too many times i have been rejected or not able to get what i want... id rather be dead.

you are a disaster...

such a beautiful disaster. ='(

last night i went home feeling awfully low. there were some thoughts discussed in the beer sessions earlier that made me remember past issues. =(

me, dencio, karen and teods went to sideline last night. me and karen were supposed to eat dinner at the place near sideline, but it was already closed. so we had to eat our dinner at sideline while dencio (who took his FREE dinner earlier) started drinking beer. then teods came along...

topics flowed as fast as the beer.

We talked about courting, and starting new relationships. My stand is that, when a person (e.g. a girl) likes someone..the chances of that guy winning her heart is 99%.. but when the guy courts a girl, who happens to not feel anything for him from the beginning, the chances are weak. like 1%, with all the efforts involved.

What struck me most though, is the thought that says "u have to fix yourself first before trying to help others fix their lives"

oh btw, im currently listening to Dear God by XTC, i have read the lyrics to the song before, but i just heard the mp3. *wink*

Anyway.

After a nanosecond i felt some kind of deja vu. When i realized that somehow that's what i am. I can be a very good guy friend. But i wont make a good boyfriend. The sad thing is I know it. Worse, i think i am not doing anything about it. There is so much non-issue in the things around me that i churn inside my head/heart and make it such a big deal, that life in its entire being... makes me feel really tired. It would be really unfair for the "girl", for me to come into her life and share to her a part of the hell of the kind of guy that i am. She isn't a mechanic, and it is not her duty to fix me.

so if i continue living the life that i have now (the kind that i like and dislike at the same time)... i think there is no chance that i would ever find someone who can understand me.

here's the lyrics to the xtc song i mentioned earlier.

Dear god,
Hope you got the letter,
And I pray you can make it better down here.
I dont mean a big reduction in the price of beer,
But all the people that you made in your image,
See them starving on their feet,
cause they dont get enough to eat
From god,
I cant believe in you.

Dear god,
Sorry to disturb you,
But I feel that I should be heard loud and clear.
We all need a big reduction in amount of tears,
And all the people that you made in your image,
See them fighting in the street,
cause they cant make opinions meet,
About god,
I cant believe in you.

Did you make disease, and the diamond blue?
Did you make mankind after we made you?
And the devil too!

Dear god,
Dont know if you noticed,
But your name is on a lot of quotes in this book.
Us crazy humans wrote it,
you should take a look,
And all the people that you made in your image,
Still believing that junk is true.
Well I know it aint and so do you,

Dear god,
I cant believe in,
I dont believe in,
I wont believe in heaven and hell.
No saints, no sinners,
No devil as well.
No pearly gates, no thorny crown.

You
re always letting us humans down.
The wars you bring, the babes you drown.
Those lost at sea and never found,
And its the same the whole world round.
The hurt I see helps to compound,
That the father, son and holy ghost,
Is just somebodys unholy hoax,
And if youre up there youll perceive,
That my hearts here upon my sleeve.

If theres one thing I dont believe in...
Its you,Dear god.

Journal Entry #57

"...sometimes i am beginning to think that i am crazy. and it gives me a relief to ask myself that question, and take comfort in the phrase "crazy people dont admit they are crazy".

but most of the times i feel that way. it seems that i got my self a job because people want me to feel useful. and that this is a great conspirancy. there are so many unexplainable things in this office. our floor is not saved. one afternoon i got really bored i was able to come up with a conclusion that people's last names in the 7th floor has a consonant/vowel ratio of 4:1.

sometimes i think that it is winter outside. that summer is just something that i prayed for to come. i don't know. i feel like i am a chess piece. moved around. or standing still ready to slaughter those on the other side.

when i look at myself in the mirror sometimes i doubt if it is me i see. i think it is not me. my hair is long, but it doesnt feel like it. i look like im 30 but i counted 24.. but i feel like i have been here forever.

i was there when Jesus died.

And last night when i got home i spoke 17 verses of the bible. and i slept. As if nothing happened. i woke up around 4am. i realized that i didnt do anything that day.it's getting really cold outside.
tomorrow things will get better i know. my headache is getting worse too. but i dont mind that now, my liver is failing. i take comfort that i will die sooner than my brain does. now there's a trace of rainbow smile on my face. and it is not even dawn yet."

here's what i was listening to .. minutes ago..

Strange and Beautiful - aqualung

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart, I'll see.

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

I'll put a spell on you,
You'll fall asleep and I'll put a spell on you.
And when I wake you,
I'll be the first thing you see,

And you'll realise that you love me. Yeah... Yeah...
Sometimes, the last thing you want comes in first,
Sometimes, the first thing you want never comes,
And I know, the waiting is all you can do,
Sometimes...

Nos bracos de Isabel

Nos braços de Isabel
Eu sou mais homem
Nos braços de Isabel
Eu sou um deus
Os braços de Isabel são meu conforto
quando deixo o cais do porto
pra viver os sonhos meus

Ontem Isabel me libertou
Da escravidão e da dor
Hoje Isabel é minha libertação
No amor

Salve a Princesa Isabel
Que quebrou minhas algemas
Salve a Isabel
Que resolve os meus problemas


here's the English translation.. it's not grammatically correct i guess. but i think it makes sense. =)

In the arms of Isabel I am more man
in the arms of Isabel I am a god
The arms of Isabel are my comfort
when I leave the quay of the port for the live the my dreams

Yesterday Isabel liberated me
Of The slavery and of the pain
Today Isabel is my liberation
In The love

Cheers the Princess Isabel
That broke my handcuffs
Cheers to Isabel
That resolves my problems

Bigfoot sportsfest.... and the camera loves me. =)

a perfect album

now i am listening to A Perfect Circle's newest album eMOTIVe.

=)

this time i think they are experimenting. i've read the reviews and they said that they are trying out some of the "rebellious" songs of the past decades.

one that caught my "ears" is When The Levee Breaks.. when i searched in google i found out that a lot of other artists covered this song already.. but u gotta listen to APC's version. it rocks u out of the lounge chair... leaving whatever residue to the drugs ur on... on the table. lolz

do i make a good critic/writer for music mags? hahahah

here's the song

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break, [X2]
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.
Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan, [X2]
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?If you're goin' down SouthThey got no work to do,If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned, [X2]
Thinkin' about my baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago...
Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down....

just a thought

"your eye glasses make me walk wobbly.. and your accent..., well it cripples me"

kahayag cafe

last night me, karen and dencio went to Kahayag Cafe. This place used to be our favorite hang out for beer, before Ebay(a bar.. not the site..lol) and Chillville... and Kulit's pad. lolz.

But what sets kahayag apart from the other places we usually stay is the Music. The genre changes everyday of the week, from Zarah Smith on Mondays playing accoustic jazz, to Jerry Bro's folk and then there is Latin night. (maybe) lolz. then Fridays and Saturdays where different bands play..Our band had a couple of gigs in kahayag. or was it once? lol =)

Anyway, last night. around 6pm the classmates had an intense discussion (over skype) about LOVE. We sort of defined it, or tried to, to the very best of our knowledge,.. and experience.. I had a lot of questions and so did the others (redhorse classmates).

=)

*i remember telling em that according to Buddha, pain is inevitable no matter if you are doing only the good things. Bad karma caused by other entities may come to you. that is the truth. whow! =)

anyway.. so Marlon, said he is going to church at around 7, and i said that after 8pm we'd be going to Kahayag, he can catchup if he wants to... (but he didnt, maybe he is too tired already.. =) )

and so Densio told Marlon to pray for him. And i said me too. I told him to ask God to give me courage and guidance in life. =) Afterwhich I promised, that tonight (meaning last night).. there will be no alcohol for us 3. I will treat em chilli chips and Ice tea. but no beer.. heheh Marlon said it is impossible., Densio said we better not stay at kahayag if we were to abstain. lolz. but i said we can do it....

So we were there.. me karen and dencio.. We ate adobo rice and teriyaki rice and we had water and iced tea only....

Jerry Bro was singing.. and we were looking at him.. and at some point sang along =)

Then came Tobias and Stefan. our bosses. lolz. but they were on a different table near the door.

Jerry asked the waiter for the time, and said that his first set has just ended and he will have a break and come later. so he asked the people if anyone wants to take the stage... (substitute) lolz. Karen pushed me!!!! waaah. hehh naah. well i told Jerry just a couple of songs. and so Me and Karen went up on stage for impromptu performance lolz (i miss our band.. and yeah we really need to do some practice)...

I told karen that we play Insensitive by Jann Arden first. heheheh That song is for meeeeeeee.. hahahahhah =) well, we used to play that song when i bring my guitar when we go drinkin at ebay(a bar) lolz.( i remember one time i was so drunk and we were jammin at ebay and i told the waiter to turn off the music. hahahaha so i can hear our singing. Ahem.. regular customers. =)

Anyway.. so we played insensitive... and then.. Take A Picture by Filter. hahahah Although i really hadnt practice playing that song i told karen we do it anyway, since we both liked it.. and i know that people wont notice if i struck a wrong chord.. whahhaha who goes wrong with A and D, with just a couple of 7s and suspendeds.. ahem. anyway.. but i cut it. for some reason. lolz. i thought Karen didnt want to continue singing.. we realized later that we missed the best part...

the screaming "hey dad, what do you think about your son now?"

anyway.. the next song.. we played All I Want Is You.. lolz. Karen was in Cloud 9hundred and 99.. hahahah she likes U2 soooo much.. i just cant figure out why. hahahah karen? can u comment on this one? =P

Anyway.. so Toby said.. "alryt guys.. nice singing.. u can step out of the stage now" hahahha lolz. man .. so we went back to our table. .. a little later Stefan and Toby waived goodbye and went home. We paid our bill and moved just outside kahayag.. there we sat... and contemplated on whether to drink beer or not to drink. Dencio was fixed. He wasnt gonna drink.

I told Karen, that (as a Senator of the org), i am passing a bill, lolz for us to have a few beers that night. Then, Karen being president.. has to sign it. hahahahh

so there. i ordered two bottles of red horse and one order of chilli chips. =)

and the night goes on....


hmmm. i went inside kahayag again to check who's singing.. then i saw a girl jam with JErry Bro, and i went to the washroom with the girl.. naah. heheh i went to the wash room. after that i went near the stage sat there for a few moments. and Jerry said if i want to sing along.. i said yeah maybe later. =) ive been wanting to sing a Beatles song with him.. maybe Oh Darling. =) lolz

then i went outside and told karen and dencio that we should go back inside cos there are not too many people now., and we can sing again.. they said theyd just follow me in a bit. i went inside and drank beer by my lonesome. lolz. and sang along "at the sidelines" lang.. not at the stage.

I noticed this girl from the corner. I remember she was the tagalog girl i referred to in my other blog., where we went to larsian.. and then Miguel came along to play his guitar for us.. hmmmm. same girl, from another table., this time shesss a bit too far away lolz.

Anyway, then karen and dencio followed and we sang along with jerry bro.

I requested for House of the Rising Sun.. and he told me to sing it for him.. cos wla na siya voice.. I said yeah. but id just be sitting where i am, and not go on stage.. and that he would dictate to me the lyrics.. hahahaha

i had fun singing the song.. the pitch is way above my league.. hahahah but then again. who cares?.. that was a few bottles of beer later ya know. =)

then Jerry had to go.. and he asked for someone to play the guitars again.. i said nah. not anymore.. so then.., this guy., former guitarist of a local rock band during the early 90s sat on stage and performed. man he rocks!..=) he played U2 songs,,. much to karen and dencios delight. lol. but i did sang along as well.. =) he played roxanne.. and he strums the guitars very loud.. it was a nylon stringed accoustic yah know., and it was like.. at any time it was gonna explode. hahahha

then the waiter put the boombox ( a small wooden box for percussions ) near us.. so i grabbed it and for a while played percussion for Amador (the guy mentioned above)...

after which i handed it to karen.. she's the drummer.. hahahah

then Amador had to leave after a few songs.. =)

And Karen still continued on tapping the "accoustic drums"..lol.. so i rapped.

ahahhaha yeah i did. well i sang Loser by beck. haha in the chorus.. Amador was already about to leave, he got back to us and asked us who sang that song.. he said
"was it Bush who sang this.." Karen and me replied in chorus "no.. its beck"

he said oh yeah.. and he left.. =)

and Karen did Drop it Like it's Hot.. now i rapped. hahaha then we went outside.
And saw Amador sitting by himself, we passed by him and i said.. hey i didnt know Jimi Hendrix can do unplugged. ehhe i told him he shouldve brought his electric.

Oh did i tell u?.. he frequents kahayag and brings his electric guitar, hmmm i forgot the brand though.. but he plays really cool licks.. he's a blues man.. doing some clapton and mostly hendrix. yeah he played Hey Joe when he first got onstage that night..

And i told him.. next time u play Purple Haze (hendrix)... he said yeah.. this saturday..

Then we bid him goodbye and i said goodbye to densio and karen.. and drove home..

next thing i new. i came in at 10:24 today.


hahahahha but its all good.

*btw, seems like the 3 of us already got a rep of always going out everynight... hmmm people are starting to notice. or they're just too nosy.hahahah

that was one of the topics last night.. and we figured there is nothing wrong with our night life.. hahahha =)

ciao! whew....

what for?

im currently chatting with my redhorse classmates and a thought just came into me..
it made me really angry at this world.

well. i thought, what's the purpose of living if in the end we are gonna die anyway? i think i have posted this before but it still puzzles me.

like 15 years from my death no one will recognize me....remember me. sure there would be people / family who will attend my funeral, and pray for me.. but a year after that.. or 5 years.. 15 years.. 50 years.. i think i wont matter anymore

and if like ur some bigshot and people remember you 100 years after you lived here., still that doesnt work for me. You are remembered. but nonetheless dead.

And if u are dead u are nothing. u have nothing. no feelings and u dont even exist anymore. so what good are all these things if in the end there is nothing?

So guys.. from now on.. dont eat .. breakfast lunch dinner... that is useless
ok?


ciao!

a sad Korean music video

yesterday, while browsing thru youtube, i got into this korean(i think) music video. I have seen this video before.. like in 2004 when i was still working in this ofc.. hahaha.. before i transferred and got back into the same ofc.. lolz.

anyway. this video is very sad.... vvvvverrry sad. it talks about a sacrifice. something that most people dont understand. ok for those who cannot watch it, i will try to narrate as true to the video as possible.

-----------------

there is this guy. a professional photographer. while he was outside shooting some pictures, this pretty girl happen to pass in between him and his subject, and at the exact time he clicked the cam, the girl turned and looked at him. and it was a picture perfect moment. then the girl said sorry and then went her way..


the guy, then went to a parlor and had his hair cut. the girl happens to work in that parlor, and when the guy arched down and put his head in the sink so it can be shampooed.. the girl told the other attendant that she will take her place and put the shampoo on the guy, without the guy knowing it was her..

hmmm.. mushy huh?

anyway. the girl accidentaly put on some shampoo lather on the guys eyes.. and the guy(photographer.. just to refresh ur memry) got angry.. and walked out.. and didnt notice that it was the girl... and he left his bonnet. hahaha

so the girl, returned the bonnet to his studio (hmm isnt this sexy? anyway).. when she got there, the guy was shooting pictures of a streetbike, apparently he is a photographer for a biker's mag.

then they got to know each other.. and he took pictures of her (not naked though.. lolz) and they dated.. blah blah..

but one time.. the girl tried to reach something from the pile of pictures, and then accidentaly tapped the bottle .. the bottle was filled with acid for developing pictures, and the acid splashed on her face... =(

and she was brought to the hospital. and the guy was so mad at himself... and the girl became blind..

the guy was so mad at himself he walked out of the room and out of the girls life..
he rode his bike so fast that we guessed that he would crash but he didnt.. lolz

then.. fast forward. the girl had her eye operated and now she can see.. but when she got back to the apartment the guy wasnt there anymore.. after that she saw their picture (a sort of a collage) was torn apart..

hmm.. she didnt know what happend... and fast forward...

while walking in the park alone.. she saw a blind guy with a dog...

that blind guy.. was the photographer..

=)

he gave up his eyes (technically his life.. so that the girl's life would be normal again)...

nice.. =)


after that being said... here's the link. tell me if i did justice in my narration. lolz.. u gotta watch the mirror part near the end. =)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtyqasWoJjM&search=woman

I was listening to Lenin's accoustic mp3s. and heard a very low quality version of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers song' Under the Bridge.
I like this song.. somehow, i can relate to it., i realized later after watching a VH1 docu, that this song is about drug addiction. When Anthony keidis and the other RHCP member Hilel Slovak were so into drugs that they are VIPs to this drug ring in a place "under the bridge" in downtown Los Angeles.

I know it is a cliche' but, sometimes, people use drugs to heal the pain.. although its a sickening non-solution after all.. but u will understand when u are in it.

notice the last lines of the chorus?

Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

=)

sometimes.,. it makes u forget about things. the bad ones... and yeah the good ones as well.. and sooner u will realize that u just gave ur life away.. =)

an error.. you cannot take away the bad things in life. it comes with the package.


hmmm.. here's the song...



Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

i adore

i adore the saints
i adore the sinners as well

i envy the lives
i envy the stories they tell

i am senseless in a number of ways
i like numbers they make sense

i understand some things
some i do not

i love the love that loves
i love to live the life that lives
and all these goes back to you

[untitled]

last night i realized
that you are special
i realized that a thousand tropical sunsets
is nothing compared to your smile

this morning i woke up
and i was thinking
thinking that maybe you are solomon's jewels
shades of gold and blinding diamonds

but i will have to sit this one out
because i am weary
i will let life take its course
at least then i am not to blame

tonight when i sleep
and the angels will sing
they will be singing your name
in my heart and in my head..

in my soul, like a thousand years before

thru the one way glass

you will never know what it's like
for me to stand here on my side
and before i came to the earth
i was in heaven

they made me look thru the one way glass
they said point the person you love the most

i never thought it could cause me pain
but seemed nice to be human again
if only i can be with you now
and you weren't in heaven

they made me look thru the one way glass
they said point the person you love the most

i shouted and screamed at you
but you cannot hear me from here
i saw you were with him
and i just shut my mouth

you shed your tears
and i tried to read the words that you said
it starts to get so cold and blurry
but i got the perfect view from here

im looking at you thru the one way glass
and you're the one i love the most

Ants and Rants

i thought about this while in bed last Saturday... no alcohol.


Ant1: im fucking tired of this
Ant2: of what man?
Ant1: of carrying all this food
Ant3: what are you guys talking about?
Ant1 and Ant2: nothin

(ant4 is from the opposite direction, and collided with the ants)
Ant4: you freakin lazy butts i have been going back and forth 3x already.
Ant1: well if you're so fucking hardworking why dont you just carry the queen?
*ants 1 2 and 3 laughs....

Ant 4 leaves.

and the curtain closes.

lol

[untitled]

This month of May turned out morbid. Yesterday, was the burial of my friend. He left a wife and kids. And if I am not mistaken he is a year younger than me. We were in the same swimming team in our place before. We grew up along with the other kids, but we werent really that close, but i never thought that he would do something like that. He was really high on drugs, and hanged himself from the ceiling... i think they said he was using a belt.

They were able to bring him to the hospital at around 7am in the morning. He died in the evening. The doctors said there is nothing more they can do to regulate him, due to the drugs that he took (he was shooting his veins out)

And yesterday evening, i recieved a message that one of our officemate lost his 5year old kid... due to respiratory problems. Hmmm.. suicide and respiratory problems? is this a sign? hmmm..

Anyway. both lives ended so soon. so soon, maybe, but in another light, maybe not. We all dont have a clue when we are going to leave this place or if we ever will.

Im currently listening to Jeff Buckley's Demon John. JB's music is very haunting. And so not mainstream... talking about he way he does his riffs. Im sitting in my office chair, while writing this piece using Notepad, while a big banner on my browser is saying "Take Action Today!"

lol

I went to Tambuli yesterday, with some old friends from college. We havent got together for a long time. =) well we do see each other sometimes on some occasion but not on outings or trips. so we decided to hit the beach. it was ok. but i didnt like the beach. it was filled with pumpboats and there was no marine life. check Karen's blog on samboan for comparison. lol. And it was a "hi-jack". We gave our tickets and then the waiter said that the P300 is consumable but the eat all you can buffet cost P400.arrrgh. so we just added P100 each.


After the beach we went to a friend's house and watched Without A Paddle, although i have already seen the movie, i didnt mind watching it again. hehehhe it was hillarious. Especially the part where they were being chased by those 2 pot growers. hahahah and the whole pot farm was burning and they all got high.. and the two dogs, Lynyrd and Skynyrd got so high they laid on their backs, held hands and looked at the stars.. hahahahahh =P and they caught a Dog constellation.. lol

Anyway. what hit me most was when Seth Green said..'we're already 30 and this could be the last crazy thing we can do' hmmmmm.. it got me thinking. have i dont enough crazy things in my 24 yrs that i when i get to be 60, id tell my grandchildren that during my younger days i did some "crazy" stuff myself.

Then again.. i dont wanna reach 60. =P

Well that's the outlook of the moment. But that may change. Like, i have always thought that id die at 27, but what if, i would find someone/something that will change my outlook on life.. im not discounting the fact that it could happen... and that i may want to live forever... ahhahahahahah and rule the world.

Hmmm... The smiths is on now. ".. when u say its gonna happen now, when exactly do u mean?"

I like this song. Because somehow it tells me how weak one can get. like the line above. totally trusting on the other person/party on definition of how things must go. And the line ".. i am human and i need to be loved" i can totally relate to. Oh yeah. Not to mention that the guitar riffs and effects totally added layers and layers of emotional dimensions. =)



this blog is like a whole bunch of words and stories put inside a washing machine...... it went around in circles... but didnt come out really clean =P

don't drink and ..... pose like a model. =)

summer rain

i woke up at 6am today. and went back to sleep lol., and then woke up at 8:30.
i feel so sleepy and i dont know why. hahaha, well i know.. =P the weather isnt very good, its raining in summer. but that's ok.
im currently listening to Six Underground by the Sneaker Pimps. Man i love their lead singer.. (former, i guess, they are now fronted by a guy.. or i think they're dissolved already) I like her teeth, its not perfect. hehe very sexy.
but whatever.
Just another day of not knowing what to do. Although i have a lot of things to do. I just dont know where to start. Too many things on my mind right now. It sucks. I feel like i should quit working. I dont know, but it seems like i dont really belong to this field. argh. well generally i dont know if i belong to this planet. hahaha Maybe im just watching too much tv, where real life is nothing like tv. or the movies.. sometimes.. it can be more complicated than that.
Yesterday i was surfing the net. I tried googling the '100 top guitarists" of all time. And based on Rolling Stones mag, Jimi Hendrix is #1. i hope id meet him someday. =) And i came across the 100 greatest riffs of all time, sadly there was not enough Beatles in it. Jimi has 5 i think.. or more, and the Allman Brothers (which after all this time i thought was a counry music band).. I think they all died of a plane crash, or vehicular accident.. =0
Now it's SOnic youth singing "...i love you sugarcane.. i love you sugarcane"..
oops. that was the ending. Filter is on now. "Take A Picture"
=)
Im trying to find a rhythm to start doing the things i ought to do. But until then, i will be writing this stupid blog.
My life is getting more complicated by the minute. Due to my doing nothing, more and more things to do are piled up infront of me, that i can feel like jumping off the window,.. and hoping i would land in a cold spring. hehehhe =) man, i miss that moment... the moment i jumped off a waterfall., it was fun but scary. lol. more scary now that someone died doing what me and my friends did there.. hmmmmm... so its "dangerous" i thought to myself.
life is dangerous. living is dangerous. anytime we may die. lol.. isnt it the truth?
I was supposed to go home early last night. I was so bent on coming home and grab my accoustic and actually push myself to make new songs. The pressure of making songs is making me more and more lazy to make one. I think its because i am unsure if what i write is good enough. When in fact i cannot measure. There is not one thing that i did in my life that i can say is good... if we are all computers someone mustve skipped installing "self-appreciation patch" on me. hahahha but that's ok.
i got to cut this crap now. im getting sleepy.. dizzy.. lol.. and i know i have something to do. argh.

lost and found

~*~ lost and found ~*~

it's way past midnight
no one else is home
and i just found out i am on my own

i grew tired of breathing
tomorrow's just saving face
so i will play this one more time

and i would fly out the window
fly to where i belong
and i wouldnt lie anymore
for lying wont make me strong

i have lost you
and i had never found
the perfect glue to patch this wounds

and i would fly out the window
fly to where i belong
and i wouldnt lie anymore
for lying wont make me strong

there is a perfect time for your smile
and its the one i am waiting for
there wasnt enough time for you and me
and thats the one im dying for

light mood....

im having a very light and pleasant mood as of this moment.. i dont know why.
maybe because my officemate already returned my book "the teachings of the compassionate buddha"...

hehehe or it may be due to this Jobim (antonio carlos jobim) that i found in the network..

God i love spanish music., spanish beats.., and the accent.. although some songs are in english.. thats ok.. =) im in loooove with Spain. heheheh

como esta mi amor?.. hahaha i think that's the only spanish phrase i know. =) or, i think its the most useful..lolz


lunch lunch lunch

its another monday night
and im sitting by my window
listening to REM and staring outside
and i love it like this

its another boring night
thinking if you will ever know
how it feels on my side
and i love you like this

so if it rains tonight that's ok
i will just have to do with smoking alone
and if the stars fall down tonight
i will be ok
i will be ok
cos you're the angel looking down over me
oh how i wish you will look down on me

its another boring night
tomorrow im gonna tell you
how it feels on my side
and that i love you like this

a lesson i learned

because of my pride. and of my childish behavior, I have hurt someone. I shouldnt have written some of the things i did below. Not because they are inaccurate, or not what i currently feel, but i shouldve just kept it to myself. No more tears for people i care about, at least not of my doing =)

we all have a good day...

im in a really good mood... while listening to Rolling Stone's Sympathy for the Devil.

spare me your french..

Maybe i was absent, or was sleeping under my chair (hahaha), when we were taught about "society" and how to deal with people. This world, in the perspective of people, is a continuous sine wave. Sometimes in one day, there are 5-15 people affecting me or present physically or mentally. Sometimes, on such lonely moments, there are none.

It is quite amazing. But what amazes me more, well "puzzles" is the appropriate word i guess, is the fact that there are no rules on how we go about our daily lives and interact with other people. Sure there are moral laws, and the laws of man (rights as well) that we have to respect. But we have every inclination to bend them sometimes.. right? e.g. hurt someone.
Hurting someone else. In the natural course of your life, you know you have hurt someone else or cause them trouble, or for some reason annoy them. Well if in any case you havent, I will be glad to teach you how to.

I am writing this now because of two reasons.

Reason 1: I know someone who frequently hurts someone else, not physically (well i was told once, that she did) but mostly verbally. Either there is something so wrong with this person, or there is something so wrong with the other people in her "world". She sees herself as the one that is being wronged-at all the time. Not thinking that it is her own bs that caused her all that. Case in point. She deviated from an agreement on a specific place and time where and when to meet. And she ended blaming someone else for it. I mean. Cmon, just for one second, try introspecting (Socrates would be so damn proud of you... if you did) before you pass the buck. I dont know what kind of childhood or upbringing you went through, but that is not my concern anymore and I have no reason to judge that. We all have to deal with our own dungeons and dragons(what a term.lol). My concern is that i pity you. And all the people that are in your so-called life. Why? Well, you might one day look back and see how screwed up your life is, and quickly point to the people as the ones responsible for it. hahaha.. i hope you wont include me dude.

I have always thought to myself. Why? I mean, why do you always refer to others when things go wrong. Why wont you take a look at yourself and say, oh yeah, im to blame for this. I think that would be rather brave of you.. mature, i must say, if you can do that. My friend, (lol), i think it is time to face the truth. Your life wouldnt be so messed up if it werent for your own un-doing.

Then again. I dont know you too well. I just wrote this one with the knowledge i have of you and my personal experience. I thank you for being an avid fan of my blog. lol. im so honored.
Reason 2: somehow this relates to the above statement, but this one is of myself. (see, i look at my own faults too dude, so better dig up some dirt too). In the course of my life, i have hurt a lot of people too. Intentionally (as in the case of writing this one. lol x 1M) and unintentionally... or pseudo.

In my search for my own happiness, i came to step on other people's feelings. I shouldn't have, but i did. What comes as a great pain for me, is having to choose for their joys vs mine. With the kind of man that i am, i always choose mine first. But, that is not to say, that the people in my life, family, friends, and other people are not important. In fact they are, they mould me into what I am, and they affect me in random directions and in varying amounts. But i am not like "reason#1" above, whose definition of a bestfriend is someone to blame when she falls on her own pile. lol. Though i admit, that somehow, my actions in a way hurt the people dear to me, but i dont do them as i frequently as "reason#1" and mostly not as intentional.
You know, I feel really uneasy when I feel that I did wrong to someone. Sometimes, im a bit too tackless with my words, when i joke with someone. Totally unaware, or un-xxxx (i dont know the word), that it might offend him/her. But for the purposes of this blog, this is intentional. ahahhah. You know why? Because you freakin pushed me to the limits. =)
Oh yeah, i have thoughts about making a quote/phrase for you while i was preparing to go to the ofc. I hope you are pleased with my simple gift for you.... what can i say, im just a poor boy, and words are the only thing that i can offer you...

"When God decided to experiment, and get away with poetic license in creating mankind... He made you. So abstract, in a way, very special, very un-conventional... But I must say, He made a grammatical error nonetheless... " - anon

hmmm.. cheer up dude. =P

*oh yeah. because of you, i accidentaly moved an mpg file somewhere in my pc and cannot continue burning a dvd. tsk tsk tsk.. but on the bright side, see how much u affect me? =)

busy afternoon

hmm what a busy afternoon indeed. lol im busy reading people's comments on the lyrics/songs posted on www.songmeanings.net. yeah, well, i tried to read some of the lyrics that moved me. darn. and its so amazing to read people's opinion. im so full of my fucked up brain yeah know. i want someone who can talk from 6pm to 6am. lol and id just be listening. heheheh

so what's up with me right now. hmmm. im so freakin sleepy but i got to write a few stuff. hold on.

i posted the song besame mucho because of last night.

4 of us went to a place called Larsians to eat our dinner. Its a place where barbecue is the best-seller. I dont know how to describe that well., then there are these kids who come to you selling Sampaguita(native flower).
They're practically begging you know. But that's ok. There is this guy who just sings acapella (and from the way he is acting and his lyrics you would know that he is someone other than normal) There's this guy who walks around from table to table with his sticker-filled accoustic guitar...

This guy, who in the later part of this Story we would find out to be "Miguel". Went to this couple, (i hope they are not, cos the girl is a cutie with glasses) lol, and sang some songs to the girl's request.

He sang "itanong mo sa akin.. kung sinong aking mahal.. at agad kung sasabihin.. ikaw ang aking mahal"
- ask me who is the one i love, and i will quickly say to you, that it is you that i love. (A+ for effort in translation)

Anyway, while he sang that, our group sang along. lol the place wasnt so crowded so no worries. =) i like the song anyway. So the girl requested for some Beatles songs. Then Miguel played "Yesterday", but i cannot seem to get his version, i dont know, i mean, it wasnt of the original rhythm as played by Paul in acoustic. Anyway, so after playing that song, he came to our table and then Karen requested for Spiral Staircase. Im not so familiar with the lyrics though., but somehow i have heard that before. =) Then Marlon requested for a tagalog song.. and then we sang along i forgot the title.. Then i requested for a BeeGees song. And he sang "To Love Somebody".. i dont really know if its the correct title but it's the one that goes "baby you dont know what its like, to love somebody, the way i love you".. its a very old song. yeah. but i liked it.

And we sang along. hehe it was really fun, and i told him that his song almost made me cry. and he told me not to, and said i am just like this guy he chanced upon playing going about his business sometime ago. While the guy was eating at the same area(he pointed to the exact place) as we did last night, he played the same song and the guy cried. somethin like that. and they became good friends, and that this guy brought him to Panglao Bohol ( a very nice white sandy beach in the philippines, where my pic was taken, that's me in Panglao with a bottle of Fundador).

Anyway. Yeah then this guy brought him there to serenade him and his girl. For free. Plus he was paid. Wow. =)

Noticing that he was very eager to share to us a piece of his life, we offered him to grab a chair and sit down. I even asked Karen if we can buy some beer for Miguel. (although we paid him some change). SO there . He sat with us, and talked about his life. Karen said he ought to be teaching guitar, to get regular pay, or make something more than what he is paid playing in the place. He disapproved with a smile. He said he is tired of all that. He told us that he was from Manila, and that he was taught guitar by this guy who knows notes by ear.
He said that if you would play the wrong note this guy(his mentor) would just stare at you. Lol

And then he told us that he and his mentor went to ITALY. to play there, and they were sponsored by Procter and Gamble. I said wow. Well i told him that his life is better than mine. lol. He showed me some riffs from an old filipino band Apo Hikings Society. This band was totally big in the 70s i think and the early 80s. their songs are a classic. and so he showed some riffs.

We were just about ready to leave and I requested for a last song,. and i asked him if he could play Besame Mucho.... and he did... eagerly at that.

Man, i remember samboan. Where i used to hang out at the dike., drink rhum with an uncle while someone plays some old songs in acoustic. Fucking sweet. yeah i remember those times. Those are just one of the most romantic nights ever. Well, i wish i had someone then. lol. it wouldve been a perfect date. anyway.

back to besame mucho. so i sang along,. but didnt know the lyrics to most of the songs (because its in spanish,and im gonna learn that language anytime soon i swear).

there and we left.. and i gave miguel some more coins, and shook his hand. he asked me for my name... and i said Erik. it was like wow., i shouldnt have given him coins. I should just have shook his hand. I think it was better for a man to know he had a friend, than to be given coins...

hmmmm.. case in point. rewind a few years back.(well i am not going to elaborate) but when i was still in college i found a cellphone left alone in public transportation. blah blah blah.. i contacted teh owner and told her id return it to her school (i was like 3rd year college already and this girl was in 2nd year highschool)

yeah so the next day i went to her school although it was far far far away from home.

there i met them, the girl and her aunt.. who was a bitch. why? she gave me P200 for the phone. I was like.
Fuck that man. the phone costs P18,000. And I wasnt up for the money. A simple thank you from them would do me a lot better than 200 pesos that i can just wipe their asses with. lol.

Anyway...

so there..

we somehow met a new soul.. Miguel. =) an old man who is already contented with his life. a real vagabond...

*holy shit. Just now, i remembered that while driving to the ofc that day, i was singing Dylan's Tambourine MAn!!!!! waaah...

here are some lines that totally haunt me.. as it really did happen .=)

"hey mr tambourine man play song for me
im not sleepy and there aint no place im going to"

shoot!.. i just realized.. That somehow.. i found the Tambourine Man!!!!!

i love these lines as well..

"..all my senses have been stripped
my arms cant feel to grip
wait only for my bootheels to be wandering
im ready to go anywhere im ready for today
until your own parade
cast your dancing spells my way
i promise to go under it "

hehehhe ciao.

listening to snow patrol

I was just listening to Snow Patrol, well, i am currently listening to the whole Wicker Park soundtrack.

Argh. Why cant i write a song, something like what snow patrol did or most indie bands.. ='(

but i wont stop there.. i know someday i can write a good one. hehehe



How To Be Dead - Snow Patrol

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

besame mucho

Besame, besame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la última vez,
Besame, besame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte despues [twice]
Quiero sentirte muy cerca mirarme en tus ojos verte junto a mí
Piensa que tal vez mañana yo ya estare lejos, muy lejos de ti
Besame...Quiero...Besame...

Kiss me, kiss me a lot,
As if tonight were the last time
Kiss me, kiss me a lot,
For I'm scared to lose you, to lose you afterwards
I want to feel you very close, see myself in your eyes, see you near me
Think that maybe tomorrow I'll already be far, very far away from you

my love for numbers

i came across someone else's blog that April 5th 2006 was numerically significant .. yeah ='(

at 01:02:03 AM on 04/05/06

010203040506... tsk tsk tsk..

and i missed it..

darn.

i set my mind only on what'll happen on June 06 2006.. hehehe which is a 06/06/06

The Omen will be back in Cinemas!!!!

=)

i always thought that the "authentic" kind of love isnt in most things people consider as norms...
it is those little moments.. that two souls spend together. true enough, a friend of mine shared to me her story... and i have to write something out of it. i know what i will write cannot compare to the burst of emotions she mustve felt that time.. but i sure hope it would somehow represent it..


Of the hundreds of people crossing the sidewalk
doing about there business
id find you here with me
away from the mess that was my life
and probably yours too

Of all the million stars in the skies
how can they all be looking at us now?
but shine no brighter than our hearts
i made a wish, well i made wishes before
but this time i never thought this could be
any realer than they are to me

I didnt notice if time stopped or it raced to end the night
but im certain that we have this moment
you and me, just you and me
and not one thousand cold breezes
can ruin this one

We have become a polaroid picture in time
where we dont have to speak of this
or what it is, but the world will know
and the heavens beyond
that i love you.. and you love me.

puzzles.

currently listening to Coldplay's The Scientist.

hmmm. This isn't the first coldplay song that i tried to play, i started with Yellow.
i think i have mentioned this song more than once in my blogs, but maybe not.
i dont know why.. but listening to it at this moment really brought me memories.

especially that of samboan. where i "sort-of-pushed" the movie Wicker Park. lol

yeah well, since i have seen that movie, listening to the scientist feels just different. =)
u wanna know why? hahahha. oh yeah, i remember. My friend pawned his dvdcam to my sis last night and when i went home around midnight i tried it. Having little to no knowledge about such, i grabbed it turned it on and looked at it..

hahaha and again that wicker park movie seemed to run through my veins again.. that moment when Matthew saw Lisa's "silent" video of her face..

hmmm.. i can totally relate. hehehhe

just like the movie's tagline "Passion Never Dies"...

although i have lost someone just recently. i think i will never lose my passion to love love. Love is still the sweetest thing for me. =)

blah blah blah

from Bic Runga and Dan Wilson's Good Morning Baby

"i'm praying for a beautiful weather
take a car and drive forever, but i'm
only ever sitting at the traffic light"

i hate this feeling of going nowhere, where i got so much plans inside my head.

the fork is dead

the fork

it was like most saturday nights
starry, calm, and the people not so sober
we were in a place called Station17
a cozy resto bar with a rooftop and literally flaming sisig.

and the people started the conversations
and the beer

after quite sometime while trying to prove a point
i clumsily tapped Jillian's fork
and it fell down in multiple 360 degree motion

and when we looked down,
there it was
lying on the ground near the entrance
it fell on its back
lifeless

i am sure the other forks wouldve wanted to look down
but they were either too scared
or they too are lifeless

lounge and lungs.

i am currently listening to Paris Lounge 2 - by Day 12pm. Sugar is the song on. But its gonna end soon. Im in my cubicle now. Dont know what to do.

im feeling sh***y, i didnt go in this morning, i had my lungs checked. the same side where i had an operation when i was still in high school. I dont know what will happen next. but the results will be read tomorrow. hmm.. i hope i dont get a "liquor ban"

f**k this. i think im not writing anymore. maybe not in the next few weeks. I dont know, im just tired with all this useless sh*t. Someone in manila is practically happy with what's going on with me right?.. well f**k you! .. hahaha =) hmm.. it actually feels good to talk that way huh?

you said you can be a pain in the ass if you wanted to. go ahead girl do ur stuff. u dont matter to me. hahaha even if you'd beg my forgiveness in front of the Pope id spit at you. lol. nah... maybe i wont.. maybe id just space out. and pretend you're not there.

hahahah. im sorry. its just that i hate seeing your name. lol. everytime ur name is mentioned, it's a different feel for me. i see you as someone else.

hmm. i feel a bit miserable, but nonetheless a little more hopeful than yesterday....

there is something i am counting on that might just change my career. lol. =)

Ettiene de Crecy is on now. chill

How many times do you forgive someone? Seventy times seven? literally, it means 490... but i guess it says.. MORE. 7 is a number of power. multiply it by itself it means A LOT MORE.

but i dont have 7s mind you. lol. i only have a bit of patience. i love/hate this little talent that has been given to me... the talent not to be able to forgive.

oh cmon.. lets all listen to lounge music. and forget about some piece of sh*t that tried to ruin the relationship i had with my ex-girlfriend.

=0

this is my blog. so i can say what i want. you can comment though. lol.

this isnt for lack of weed man.. i just simply hate your name.


oh yeah. Im listening to Westernize by Avia.
=)

party tonight

everyone is invited @ my house tonight for the 1 year celebration of A Day In The Life of..

one year since i posted my secret poetry. lol.

but just like the Club8 song.. --"ur poems got u nowhere"

ciao!
There will be free flowing Margaritas, Vodka, and Wine. Music will start with Cafe Del Mar around 6pm then some house music and lounge at 3am. =)
-u jst got punk'd-

an account of Brandy + Rhum + Beer

sunday. around 2pm. i was sitting at the porch, having had an early lunch now i have nothing to do. so i grabbed my guitar and played a few songs. I noticed that there are quite a number of people (families) swimming at the pool just outside our house.

so i looked around. and noticed that my friend moshe was there, and that he was drinking with melvin. Melvin used to work as a cook in the hotel, and he now drives for the ex-husband of blah blah blah. anyway, so i went outside and "drank" with them.

Melvin was with his family and his wife's mom and dad and others. lol. typical filipino outing.

The three of us were drinking Emperador, mixed with sprite. Then a few minutes later my sis and her boyfriend went out of the house, so it was just me left to look over the house. And not so few minutes later, i felt "cool" already. not noticing that we finished 3 (lapad) bottles of Emperador brandy. And Melvin's wife is already asking us not to let him drink because he's driving. While Moshe complained that he no longer have enough strength to do his laundry. but we laughed it off.

feeling a little dizzy. ahem. i took a dip at the pool. not noticing that my shorts was so heavy that i had a hard time swimming. i swam 4 laps with those super heavy shorts yikes. and yeah, i didnt have twice as much "stamina" as when i was a few years younger when i was able to swim 100 laps off the same pool. 4 got me breathing my nostrils out.

Anyway, so i went back to the "tagay".

4Pm, Melvin and his family had to leave. So they i took some plate from the haus to transfer the food they left us behind. Pulotan. lol. And Melvin left us with a Tanduay 5years long neck. Around this time Nino came. so its 3-1+1. hehehe. anyway, Nino suggested we should be going to the beach, and bring our stuff with us. so we did. But before that, when Moshe tried to put some sprite on the glass he lost hold of the sprite bottle and the tip broke and out of his instincts he grabbed it, he ended up with a nasty cut on his finger.

I went inside the house. Made sure it was locked, and grabbed my shades and some ice and went to the beach.

Man i feel nauseous writing this blog. Remembering how it feels.

At the beach, i texted Karen and Jillian how they are, and what they are doing.. I wanted to catch up with them after they finish there "gurl thing" lol. i think they went to some beauty salon.=P Kar?

Things got a little blurry now on this part. Maybe its around 5:00 Pm. We were at our friend's public beach. (hmm that doesnt sound right). Well they own the tables that people can rent on the beach. But we got in for free. At first they warned Nino not to make fun with the people, especially their customers. We told his mom, yeah we're cool we're just hanging out. Then more and more people came. And drank with us.

I was "tipsy" at this stage. and maybe in the Invisible stage of drunkeness.

Me and my friend went near those group that were singing videoke. I think they were all girls but we didnt like mess with them (i think). Good thing that they didnt have any guys with them.. else.. things wouldnt be so nice. lol

So after finishing the tanduay, i bought 2 red horse grande, for the 4 of us now. Cos the other friends are on another "tagay". They were drinking in another table jst next to us. I said why dont we joined them, i sat with them and drank with them and called out my group to merge. so there.. one happy not so sober group.


details stop there. last thing i knew they brought me home. I sat on our couch and saw a kid inside the house, it was prolly sis' bf's nephew. I went to mom's bathroom and puked like hell on the floor (mom is out of town). I hadnt had enough strength so i sat at the floor and instead of turning on the shower i turned on the faucet. lol. I know Nino was laughing at me. But cannot see anything at this point. Then i took off all my clothes and grabbed a towel and jumped into bed. And I can remember i screamed for help at my sis. And then I can feel that she tried to feed me a piece of chicken they were cooking... that tiny bite ended up being my dinner.

end of story.

I woke up at around 11pm, and textd Karen that i am too drunk to hang out with them.

The next day, well honestly until now, i feel a strange not so annoying feeling at my left appendage just below my rib cage. i dont know what it is. Yesterday i was soooooooo i dont knw. Luckily I didnt have a headache. Dont want to brag but most of the times i dont have hangover, but i felt like i was still drank. After sleeping again at around 1am i woke up at 6am and for the first time in my life woke up our helper to cook me some food. Im so sorry. But i was just feeling "strange". After eating breakfast (Monday morning - holiday), i slept again. and woke up around 10 plus and played NBA.

That game got me dizzy i almost lost. hahahah.. i almost didnt wanna finish it. and i felt like puking but i cant, cos mom just arrived from baguio.. oops she arrived that night, but i dont know what time, and guess what i was sleeping at her bed. =P

anyway. after playing. i ate lunch felt "half-drunk" still. i dont know what to do. I even got energy to try to negotiate a house-sale. lol.

Still not knowing what to do. (Cant sleep, but to dizzy to be awake) I brought my car to a car wash. and she got off some asphalt that were sticking on the paint for some time now.

went home. and slept.

had dinner..

Then i got a text from Jillian, asking if i want to go out and drink the great RH lol.. I was like. WAaaah. Ultimately this is going to test if im sane or not. Hahaha i really really wanted to drink that time. Its just that i know my body is skaaayrd. Mind prevailed. I stayed home.. well luckily, just before a split second where i can easily decide to grab the keys and drive to the city ... mom arrived. =P So my body gave a big *sigh* lol.

I decided to take my mind off that turned down invite of a beer session, i played Warhammer. or i forgot the name of the PC game. It was lent to me by my cuzn Dylan. i didnt really play that game before. Its just that i thought id get dizzy playing NBA again and not be able to finish the game.

I ended up nauseous again. This time because of that stupid High Acceleration 3d game. argh!

='(

I went to bed... Tried to psyche Jill that drinking wasnt good. lol. But i guess she's too focused on getting her grades up. (HAHAHA)

I woke up early today. 6am... Why? i dont know.. But that part , left side, i guess at my 2nd to the last rib.. still has that annoying feeling. And yeah, im not so "post-drunk" anymore, but i could really use some hot shower. Oh shoot. i didnt bring my stuff.

=(